The Best Things in Life

c Kanta Bosniak

c Kanta Bosniak

I saw a post that reiterated that old cliché that “the best things in life are free.” It included cutely drawn images that represented things like “Love, kisses, memories…” These things, like freedom, and personal integrity, are not free. A romantic relationship requires commitment, transparency, the sharing of power, trustworthiness, loyalty, physical and energetic sexual fidelity. It requires consistency. Honorable dealings over time that build trust… and earn respect. It requires that you ask yourself before you take an action how it will affect the other and your relationship. It requires cherishing the partner and showing your love in ways that delight, encourage, inspire and strengthen his or her confidence and unfolding path to full potential. Being present to witness, to celebrate successes and console in times of loss.

It requires the willingness to grow as a spiritual being. Not only that you would never consciously harm or fail to consider the other, but that if and when you do fail unconsciously, as all humans do from time to time, that you stop right there. Stop what you are doing, acknowledge the pattern that has heretofore been lurking outside the boundaries of your conscious mind, and take the responsibility to clean it up. A romantic partnership is not free at all. You must surrender the notion of me first with the most. That narcissism which in babies is charming, but which good parents begin to discourage in their toddlers.

I believe that of all things in life, we learn the most in relationship and in relationship we are called to be the best versions of ourselves. And like anything of worth and value, it costs us well-spent effort. Most of all, it requires the sacrifice of that within us which is *not* love. This is the highest price any human being can pay. It changes our relationship with ourselves and our Creator as well as the other, for the love with the Inner Beloved is the intitial and primary one and is reflected in that with our partner. In sacred partnership “God’s will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven” is a daily practice.  The “best things in life: love, kisses and the creation of shared memories,” are expensive, and worth every bit of the cost. For in the surrender of selfishness, we give and receive at the same time.

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