I have also noticed that it can also show up after a personal success or major career move, like a big ol’ “Who go you think you are?” When I feel icky, I check in and ask, “What am I about to do? and/or “What have I just done?” and “How does this contradict previous prohibitions to be anything but modest, invisible, and mute?”
After rocking a full house at the A.R.E., I came home and felt awful for a couple days, until I realized what was up. When I did the big chunks of recovery work, I derived so much from reading and listening to John Bradshaw. I remember seeing a Louise Hay talk in which she said, “Shame is public enemy # 1,” or words to that effect. Students of “A Course in Miracles” know it. It’s in the Talmud: “Be not evil in thine own esteeem.”
Yes, I coach people to be creative, innovative, and to boldly move forward in life change. And I’m good at it because I’ve failed at it as well as succeeded. I know the tricks and I still use them and keep it fresh. Because it’s like Norton Anti-Virus. You’ve got to stay updated. The ego has new tricks and you’ve gotta clean the mind machine regularly.
Recently, I’ve noticed myself feeling more than a bit nervous about sending out a new manuscript. One that is really close to my heart. I didn’t realize how nervous I was until I felt the relief from the nervousness. You know how it is when you are stuffing something and you encounter kindness. It just flows out and you feel so light.
Thanks to my FB friend Hilde who turned me on to Brene Brown’s TED Talk. I highly recommend it. May you reframe “Who do you think you are?” into an invitation to self-appreciation. May you refame “What do you think you’re doing?” into an invitation to courageous self-expression and bold moves.
For you are a magnificent child of the God and you being you is the way you give back the gifts you have received. Self-empathy gives birth to empathy, and empathy is what we need right now.
Brene Brown TED Talk http://youtu.be/L0ifUM1DYKg