I’m not going to call resentment Public Enemy Number One. That dubious honor is reserved for the belief in separation. He who believes himself to be separated from, rejected, and hated by a God he believes will judge him will stop at nothing in his desperation. The belief in separation gives birth to self-loathing, projected self-loathing, despair, the desire to cause others to despair, envy, predation, and a host of ugliness. We humans are all capable of saying no to this enemy. This is the whole purpose of spirituality, prayer and meditation. Not to remind God of our love. As if God were a narcissist who needed buttering up!.. But to remind ourselves that God loves us. The purpose of spiritual practice, whatever path you’re on, is to destroy awful illusions.
“Be still, and know that I am God.”
The subtler the form of illusion, and the more it seems to be mutated from raw hate and self-hate, the tricker it can be to see it for what it is. That part of us that believes in separation does not always parade around with a hate flag. Sometimes it shows up disguised as resentment. Coulda, shouldda, wouldda, but for circumstances outside my control. So I will dwell in what could have been or what might be, and never take the responsibility to actually take steps in the present toward my goal. The unspoken rest of the thought here is “because whatever I do will be unsupported or even opposed by the forces that be.”
In other words, resentment can be traced directly back to belief in separation. It’s a hate and despair parfait. Looks better than flat-out rage, and maybe tastes a little smoother, but it’s not all that different in its molecular structure. It’s just another form of the same poison. Each of us has our own way to God and each of us has our own way to deny our connection. For those whose way to deny is resentment, the antidote is responsibility and appreciation.
I’ll close by sharing a yummy bit of poetic wisdom in the form of astrological musing by author Rob Brezsny. It showed up in my email today. I happen to belong to that group of birthday boys and girls who naturally tend toward having a resentment challenge. Cancerians are the poster people for it, until they man and woman up, take responsibility for their lives, realize how loved they really are, and begin to live in gratitude. We all have some of this tendency to resentment in us, Cancerian or not, so I’m sharing this short blurb as the good and universal medicine that it is, You can find Rob at http://FreeWillAstrology.com and on Amazon, by searching his lovely book, “Pronoia.”
“CANCER (June 21-July 22): Once upon a time, weren’t you the master builder who never finished building your castle? Weren’t you the exile who wandered aimlessly while fantasizing about the perfect sanctuary of the past or the sweet safety zone of the future? Didn’t you perversely nurture the ache that arose from your sense of not feeling at home in the world? I hope that by now you have renounced all of those kinky inclinations. If you haven’t, now would be an excellent time to do so. How might you reinvest the mojo that will be liberated by the demise of those bad habits?” -Rob Brezsny
May we all remember that we are loved and worthy. May we be open to inspiration. May we take inspired action towards our worthy goals.