Phoenix Rising, The Ego and Compassion

I’ve been thinking about unconscious anger, how it plays out in the public arena and how best to heal it. What keeps coming up in my mind is a combination of unremittting honesty and compassion. Ego cannot be healed with ego. Only love can do the kind of spiritual alchemy that is required to for the phoenix to set fire to its egoic self and rise to become its Iluminated Self.

This week, my friend Ann told me a moving story. She manages the business of a small company. Her bosses are its two partners, her “bad boss,” Darren, and her “good boss,” Bill. One day, Darren announced that he had cancer. She began an intervention with the one person in the world, who up until this moment, had most vexed her.

“Darren, ” she said in her heavy New York accent, “Ya hafta stop being such a jerk. If ya don’t, you’re gonna die. Ya hafta learn to be nice to yourself and other people. If ya don’t, you’re gonna die. And I don’t want to ya to die, because I love ya. Ya hear? I love ya!”

She has been on him like white on rice every day. And he’s softened, allowed her to love him, just a little, and a little more…In his gruff and grudging way, one day at a time, he is healing.  Meannness may do “bad” but mean people are not “bad.” We are all Spirit, living in Spirit, expressing Spirit and finding our way home to that awareness.

When I see the headlines and the craziness play out, my sense of it is that the those who want to control and marginalize and turn back the clock on human rights, women’s rights, gay rights, etc… are living with a great deal of inner pain. They are the “bad bosses,” or the ones who would wish to be, in effect “bad bosses.”

They want power over others, whether they currently have it and want to feed the insatiable need for more of it, or whether they have little no power and identify with their own oppressors. (“My job went overseas and in my impotent rage, I identify with the ones who sent it there!”)

Ann’s power to influence Darren did not come from shaming him or asserting imagined superiority through sarcasm. Imagined superiority is the presenting problem! She simply told him the truth, with the full fierceness of her lovingnesss. Believe me, there is nothing namby-pamby about this woman. She is a force of nature. It was the love coming through her and the love within him that did the trick.

All beings want to heal! Let us, like Ann, stand up and tell the truth, do what has to be done to intervene, with unwavering trust, with compassion, beholding the light within all beings.


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