Covert Narcissists and the Gift of Goodbye

Beware the Covert Narcissist, who wears a mask of altruism, selflessness, and kindness, while hiding an angry victim mentality, sense of entitlement, and belief in his or her superiority.  This person will likely be a doctor/nurse, minister, teacher, counselor, energy worker, or in another other “healing and helping” professional. Narcissists like control positions in life and the covert variety enjoy the control but want it to be seen as selfless service.

He or she will befriend you and pretend to support your endeavors, but will, in fact, be jealous of your successes. Be aware of signs that your time is less valuable than his or hers and complaints that everyone takes advantage of him or her. Someday that complaint will be made about you. The Covert Narcissist is always scanning the landscape for people and situations to support his or her angry victim narrative, and if you happen to be in that landscape, eventually your number will come up.

When the devalue phase arrives and the mask comes off, you’ll be astounded by the crazy, not the least of which will be the Covert Narcissist’s oblivion to it. Listen to the rant, describing you, and you will be hearing a projection of his or her shadow self. No true healing individual or friend would attempt to harm you or cause you pain. You cannot transform this person and it is not your responsibility. Your best alternative is to give the gift of goodbye. Your subconscious mind notices that you value peace, happiness, and genuine kindness and will support these qualities in your life. May your life be ever more filled with joy and lovely people with whom to share it.


Comments are closed.